“I WASN’T BORN TO BE A MOTHER”: EXPERIENCES OF MATERNAL REGRET AMONG BRAZILIAN WOMEN

Abstract

The objective of this study was to investigate the phenomenon of maternal regret among Brazilian women. Participants were recruited using the "snowball" sampling method and were invited to share their experiences through semi-structured interviews conducted in a single session. Ten interviews were carried out with women who declared regret regarding their choice of motherhood: 5 Black women and 5 White women, with varying income levels and high educational backgrounds. The data were analyzed using Thematic Analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2006). Three categories emerged: (1) Cultural scripts: naturalized and idealized motherhood; (2) The price: Giving up oneself; and (3) Overload and exhaustion. Reports frequently highlighted the burden of care concentrated on the maternal figure, leading to a near impossibility of maintaining personal projects or basic self-care. All participants reported issues with the children's fathers, related to their lack of attention and care for their own children. The results further suggest that a significant cultural idealization of motherhood persists, which, in our culture, remains far removed from the reality required of women when they become mothers. This idealization not only causes suffering due to frustrated expectations but also prevents the choice of motherhood from being made in a more conscious and deliberate manner.